Freestyle Poem

Trying to think of ways to spice up and ad creativity to my freestyle writing/ blogging, I came up with the idea of writing a freestyle poem in just five minutes. I want to see if any of you can beat me so write yours and send it to me here , or leave it in the comments below. The winner will be crowned California Hydraulics Freestyle Poet of November!

I’m just going to have to trust that you keep to the five minute time limit. I may not be too hard to beat anyway.

Here goes…

So I’m just starting rapping

I sure could well be crapping

If this was the real thing

like if i was on stage with just a mic, cap, crowd and nose ring

looking at my opponent that’s you in my mind

you cant even face me that’s why your behind

the curtain of the stage hiding

while your ears bleed from this spitfiring

I could rap all day about all kinds of things

I could keep going past when the end bell when it rings

while you still stuttering trying to work out what rhymes with lynch pin king dumplings

let me tells you lynch pins rhymes with inch sins and sing somethings with king dumplings

so there’s little substance to my lyrics so what?

there’s no comeuppance to these idyllics I’m hot!

Ive got bars for days

they try to stop me by all kinds of ways

behind bars they think I won’t stray

but oh look how the cat got away

yet your the pussy, excuse my language

sorry it’s Chinese i saw it on a menu came in a sandwich

I know  I’m not PC

but this is the net not DC

defeating you is easy

now I can prepare to celebrate my victory

If you think can compete, return it

But you might well just get beat so learn it

I grind so hard don’t think I didn’t earn

while your ego i think I just burned it

overturned it

hopped it like Kermit

don’t need no license or no permit

Thanks for listening to my rap, give me a fat clap! Oh it was supposed to be a poem oh dear oh well I’ll show em, just slow it down and listen to it like a poem.

Mic Drop

Admin1 gone.

One’s Obituary

At my age it is never something I have had to consider, but did you know that people actually buy funeral plans. To me this is ironic, and yet it is actually a competitive market that is growing. These funeral planning companies sell ceremonies of death on the basis that they are being massively subject to inflation.

First of all, it is likely just a result of my personality that saving is far less appealing to me than earning. I am not a conservative after all, and I feel the more you do, the more you grow, hence the more fully you live and saving opposes this approach. Planning your own funeral to save though, is an almost farcical concept of conservativism for me, and it got me thinking  (as does pretty much everything, if you haven’t noticed already).

Is it that people consider themselves to transform from a being into a legacy when they die? On face value, this carries a level of logic. Since we are social creatures, gaining comfort from knowing that others are conscious of your (past) existence, after all, few things spring to mind as being worse than being the one person in existence, and this could be comparable to the self-forecast situation of an unbeliever of an  afterlife after their death. Perhaps is a vague device of holding control when we have lost it by death, knowing that even though you are no longer, people are still not only conscious but likely in reverence of you, after all, funerals are almost always focused on the good of a past person rather than their flaws. Have I just written legacy in a much more round-a-bout form? I think so.

Will I purchase a funeral plan? No. It could be that I think too much of myself when I say that other people’s views or experience of me after my death are something I could not care at all for, or when I catch myself caring I wake up to reality. In fairness there are some practical necessities resulting from my future death (This is a strange post) such as disposing with my rotten corpse, but apart from that I just don’t see any reason to have funeral, let alone a pre-arranged one.

I will have to wait in monumental suspense to meet someone who can shift my outlook on this matter, so leave a comment, if not I shall be glad to never think about this again as by this point in the post I would rather go and have a drink than keep typing.

I hope you have enjoyed this post more than I have and the next one will be one to look forward to more (but really you should have something better to look forward to, no, better yet just enjoy each moment as you are in it.)

Peace out.





Hello friends, enemies, Gs or what ever you describe yourselves as.

I have no idea, to be honest how you have found my site, but I hope you do not regret it and I hope you find some value from your experience here.  is a journal of sorts. I intend to write down my experiences, opinions, feelings and queries for my own meditational benefit but also for you to be part of so that you can voice your opinion or gain a new perspective of this existence that we have somewhat in common.

I have about 23,576 different issues I could discuss at considerable length, many of which, could though be condensed and subcategorised under relatively larger or arguably more significant issue headings like the point of life or whether cheese is nutritionally valuable. The latter probably have you riveted but I can’t honestly say when I will get round to covering it in a post.

Congratulations on reaching the end of this post. I hope you have been enticed to continue returning for my upcoming posts that could be about absolutely anything.